As President Trump prepares to host UFC cage fights on the White House lawn to celebrate 250 years of American democracy and his own 80th birthday, viewers who dig displays of domination will be exhilarated. But why stop at blood sport' The ratings could be higher if Trump added even more provocative spectacles. Have J. D. Vance sit in a dunk tank in the Rose Garden where any Mar-a-Lago member can have a throw! Have a Twinkie-eating contest in the Situation Room! And given that the UFC is already doing weigh-ins right there at the Lincoln Memorial and the Reflecting Pool is newly painted, why not throw a spring-break-style rager for the overflow crowd' After all, industrial-grade foam cannons cost less than $3,000. You've probably guessed that my own preference is no vulgar entertainment at the White House, but not because I don't enjoy any forms of it or wish to sneer at fans of UFC. It's my preference for the same reason that I'd gladly gamble on a Saturday night at a basement...
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