In the week before Christmas, while the U.S. Department of Justice was getting ready to release a trove of documents relating to the Jeffrey Epstein case, some of the nation's most important public servants gathered for a meeting at the DOJ headquarters on Pennsylvania Avenue. Two Cabinet secretaries were there, along with the attorney general. They had an important matter to discuss. The important matter was puppies. A soft black puppy, for one. A baby yellow lab. A floppy noodlepuff with cream and caramel fur. Records of this meeting clearly indicate that each of these was in dire need of snuggling, as well as Cabinet-level scratches underneath its ears. But as representatives of America's puppy politic, the animals were also due, per that day's declarations, the full protection of the U.S. government. Brooke Rollins, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and Pam Bondi would be joining up to lead a new 'strike force' aimed at puppy mills, dog-fighting rings, and unscrupulous animal research....
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