I know what you're thinking: I always imagined that if God existed, and cared about one thing, it would be peace. Peace, and keeping children from dying, perhaps' How did You get involved in sending those bombers to Iran, to 'lower the temperature of global conflict while simultaneously kind of raising it here in order to lower it,' in the immortal words of freshman Representative Pat Harrigan of North Carolina' No God worth Their salt would be tangled up in war, you are thinking, least of all a war being waged by the Trump administration, which has the long-term strategic acumen of an enraged opossum stuck in a trash bag. This is a president who thinks he can will a cease-fire into being via Truth Social posts alone. My days look different now from when I was busy inventing that thing that dew does when it gets stuck in a spider's web and the light catches it just right. Mostly, I spend my time agonizing over who should win Super Bowls and giving people partial piggyback rides...
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